It may not be obvious, but men orgasm more frequently than women. A similar 2024 study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior found that 95 percent of heterosexual men had orgasms every or nearly every time they had sex in the past month, compared with 25 percent of heterosexual women.
Many of us are familiar with this “erotic sex,” but there are misconceptions about its origins. Take, for example, the penis spray that supposedly ends erotic sex by prolonging a man’s erection. “This difference between male and female erotic sex is what we call erotic sex
It’s the idea behind it, that female sexual intercourse or sex itself revolves around the penis, that’s to blame, says Rowley, a therapist and psychology professor and author of ‘It’s Not Science, It’s Society.’ To further explain this idea, I interviewed where erotic sex comes from and how to end it.” Here’s what she had to say:
Why are you so passionate about erotic equality?
They are my students. It’s so shocking and disturbing and saddening to me how little of my students have sexual self-determination, both when they first come to my class and among the young adult women I speak to in my clinic. There’s so much misinformation out there about their bodies and what’s okay and what’s normal. The fact that even a little bit of information can help people open up to erotic sex has made me passionate, having taught this course for so many years, about spreading the word.
What are the implications of learning erotic sex for students?
I’ve spoken to women who feel more sexually motivated and self-determined. They’re just more confident in their bodies. In general, they feel more confident. That has a ripple effect in terms of happiness, health, self-esteem, positivity, self-confidence, and even a sense of well-being when exercising. It has a ripple effect on a person’s self-esteem. I believe that we cannot separate our sexual self from our other self, just as our culture does not allow us to completely separate the mind and body. Our sexual self is truly part of our overall self.
Do you think erotic sex has a biological component?
No, I don’t think so. Not. The fact that we know how to do this within ourselves suggests that it’s cultural, not biological. We don’t value it, we don’t teach it, we don’t learn it. If the tables were turned and we over-privileged female sexuality, we’d have erotic sex the other way around. We don’t have sex outside of reproduction, only if we’re hoping to get pregnant. To me, it’s cultural. 1 How does it affect women when they are taught that erotic sex is harder for them? 1
It gives them a sense of learned helplessness, a sense of “I can’t do this” before they even try. It’s too hard. It’s not going to work. ” I think that keeps people from even feeling free to experiment or try things.
Erotic sex seems like it’s very important to you, but there are a lot of people who say that erotic sex shouldn’t be the purpose of sex. Do you believe that? How do you balance the two?
